It’s obvious you’ve never seen a woman actually talking to a huge muscular guy. Women like it. It’s like the old . myth that women don’t like guys in shape or guys that have huge cocks. They think the same as guys. Sure we’d all love to sleep with the girls from Maxxim magazine but does that mean you would say no to a girl who might be a 6 or a 7 on the hotness factor? No. I love girls with big tits but does that mean I won’t talk to a girl with small tits? Not a chance. Case in point, women like guys who are in great shape, they like guys who are well-endowed and a great lay in the sack and given the choice of a smart, funny guy in great shape or a smart, funny guy in terrible shape, they will go for in-shape guy every time.
Getting leaner is all about diet. As saying goes, you can't outrun a poor diet. Calorie deficit is necessary, but don't over do it as it gets very difficult to gain muscle with a calorie deficit. I suggest you reduce calories by cutting any high glycemic carbs. Also, I suggest keeping fat intake fairly high with natural fats and not avoiding saturated fats or cholesterol. A low calorie and low fat diet is a sure way to lower testosterone. Note that you do not need nearly so much protein as is commonly advised (generally by those who happen to sell protein supplements).